Well no shit I keep getting flats. When there's a quarter-inch gash in the tire things are going to go wrong. Back to frankenbike for a while I guess.

Current beer-scale: really high.

ETA: A crappy ride with Frankenbike this morning convinced me to take a closer look at how those tires are running, and they were awfully low. I took it out this morning without checking anything, which was dumb, but what the hell I was pissed. I've had nothing but flats since January. So I spent a few minutes at work pumping up each tire as much as I could, and had a much better ride on the way home. There were still all the bad noises and it still felt like the entire thing would fall apart out from under me, but the wheels felt better. The whole thing finally drove home that tires are the most important part of a bike. Drivetrain makes it go, frame keeps it up, brakes make it stop, but tires are what's actually on the ground. If tires aren't right, you're in for a rough ride. My ride was a little less rough, but now that I'm closer to beer my score on the scale's even higher. Nice.