It dawned on my last night I still have a spare frame attracting dust in the garage. It's the old frankenbike road frame, which if worst comes to worst would be a suitable placeholder for the pilot's components if I can't get the frame replaced.
Actually, it might make for a pretty formidable ride. Ugly as sin, slightly heavy, but sturdy and able to take a beating. Plus, I could mess around with spray paint more.
Current beer-scale: 9.1 & looking for a lunch-time whiskey.