a serious case

of "I don't give a shit"-itis. 

I heard back in the negative for a job late yesterday and while I wasn't disappointed I admit I as a little surprised.  I wasn't overly interested in the job but believed the interview went well and thought I would hear a more positive response.  Getting a "no" takes a difficult decision out of my hands but I was still caught off-guard.

It would have been difficult b/c I admit, the any port in a storm perspective is sounding more and more appealing.  I've completely soured on where I am right now and if I was presented with another option, even if it wasn't my top choice, I'd have a difficult time saying no. 

Which is not a good headspace to be in, b/c at this point my next interview is going to feel like it's life or death.  Not a feeling that helps keep things on an even keel.  But at least I get to take a day off to do the interview.  Now I just have to not completely blow it.

Current beer-scale: 9.9.  Buried the needle, Ray.

I'm pretty much done at this point

I drafted a resignation letter this morning, just to make myself feel a little better.  What the hell, I can at least be fake productive.  As the productivity of the job search trends down so does my self-esteem. 

It reminds me of when I was so fed up at MADD I would spend court dates hammering away at a palm pilot instead of paying attention, sitting in court by myself for hours waiting for a 90 second hearing.  At least there’s no travel here, and it’s not what I would call life and death. 

I also panicked after reading that some auto-resume readers can’t read PDF files, which is of course what I primarily use.  So I spent an hour created a new Word resume, also a pretty depressing experience.  I guess it never hurts to update your materials.

What a depressing time.  Getting an interview call for the first job I applied for had me thinking this would be an easier process this time around.  Getting one almost immediately after starting a twitter account made me think this would be easier.  Finding a few really interesting park district jobs had me hoping I could find something to get really excited about, but each time that positive feeling just 

peters out after a few days turn into a few weeks.  Bummer.

It’s not overly difficult to deal with b/c I have it pretty great at home with an adorable soon-to-be-2-year old and a wife about to have another one in July.  Home is an oasis of joy.  But to pay for it I have to slog through a job I’m really starting to not like, and the encroaching depression of not hearing back from any of these more interesting positions is starting to drag me down. 

That’s where the whiskey comes in.

Current beer-scale: 9.3